Laura’s Rating: 2/5 Stars
This book has sold over 30 million copies, making it one of the best-selling books of all time. It was #19 on Time Magazine's list of the 100 most influential books in 2011.
The Analysis:
While the title of this book may sound selfish and manipulative, it turns out that the best way to make people like you is to be a good, kind person. Holding back criticism and appreciating others are the ways to “win” friends. Be a good person and people will like you. It’s almost so obvious, it feels like a trick.
I have an issue with this book in that the motivations of the book seem contradictory to the actual advice. “Winning” friends doesn’t seem like a genuine way to cultivate meaningful relationships. Perhaps, earning friends or building friendships would be more appealing goals for me. Along the same lines, “influencing people” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, I’d rather phrase it as “communicating ideas” or “confidently conveying opinions”. I might be just getting into semantics, but I think that if someone would try to follow the advice given in this book, then they would be interested in a title more like “Forming Genuine Bonds and Communicating Effectively.”
I wouldn’t say How to Win Friends and Influence People is fun to read the way a novel is, but my book club decided it could be helpful as a reference from time to time if you are struggling with a particular relationship or situation. The book is very anecdotal, fleshing out each piece of advice with several examples. While a story or two can be helpful to illustrate a point, I think the book would be more enjoyable if it were a bit more concise. I do find it interesting that 85 years after this book was first published, much of the advice still rings true. Even in a society with leadership workshops, a greater understanding of psychology, and college degrees in management, this book can still offer reminders and tips for better communication and business savvy.
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